Sharing your story is more than simply being able to write your About page, send off a short and snappy bio or introduce yourself at a networking gathering, although any of these could be the catalyst for getting your story in shape.
Stories help bring people into your space, they offer conversation openers and opportunities for connection. Plus, a few well chosen anecdotes and stories can help you to keep on showing up during a period of change.
I guess the best way to explain is to show you with one of my own stories.
Let me take you back to early October 2017 and those first few drop off and pick-ups at my youngest’s primary school here in Ilkley. From memory I enjoyed those crisp autumnal walks to school, blue sky, lush green foliage and all those darkened over the centuries Yorkshire stone walls and houses but the walk into the playground and my stomach would be churning while trying to convey calm confidence.
My daughter went into Year 4 after we moved here midterm from Bournemouth while her two brothers went into Y8 and Y10 at the local secondary school. This spared me a chunk of playground conversations but there were still plenty of touchline chats at the rugby club on a Sunday morning.
As a mostly introverted kind of person – a sociable introvert maybe – my instinct is to lurk and join in conversations rather than be the main character, but that wouldn’t have helped me or my children to settle here. I knew that the more I was able to open up and chat the quicker I was going to feel at home and find friends, my children too.
I quickly worked out that I’d need a form of words to explain – succinctly – where and why we’d moved. Words that would help me make sense of the move, and deal with the inevitable and kindly intentioned questions I knew I’d come face to face with.
People were curious, in a kind way, and this is a small town. The situation, now I think of it, wasn’t so different from a networking gathering, people keen, wanting to connect but not always knowing how to. I was keen to lighten these conversations, inject some energy and colour into them even if inside I was feeling wobbly after two relocations in three years taking us from one end of the country to the other.
How do you know what to share? Listen to the questions people are asking
I quickly got used to telling a story – with a smile – about swapping the beach for moorland and how redundancy – my husband’s – had prompted the move.
I’d share that this was a familiar part of the world as I used to have family in a nearby village and would visit regularly as a child. I’d throw in mentions of family walks on Ilkley Moor, my eighth birthday at Harry Ramsdens.
I’d also mention that we’d only lived in Bournemouth for three years, that Bath was home before that, that Bath was where the children were born, where we were married.
If someone asked what I ‘did’, what my job was, I’d explain that I’d been a Teaching Assistant for children with Special Educational Needs, only for a year I’d quickly add. That my background was in writing and communication but that I needed to settle in the family first, find a permanent home before sorting out work.
Mostly though, conversation didn’t get as far as talking about work because we wouldn’t get much further than:
“What? You used to live five minutes-walk from a golden sandy beach, and you moved here?”
That would lead into conversations about childhood holidays, where family and friends and family lived. I’d almost hear the cogs whirring as people searched their memory banks for a connection to the south coast, and if they didn’t, they’d ask how I was finding the move to the moor.
A story to help you navigate change
Maybe it was the comms / writer in me, but I knew that having a handful of sentences I could pull out of my back pocket would help me navigate these conversations more easily, especially when I was feeling discombobulated after the move.
Woven together, they were a short story, individually they were anecdotes I could share with a smile. I could tweak the blend of facts and colour to suit the other person, giving them anchor points (where were we living in town, which year was my daughter / son in) along with a sense of who we were.
Accompanying the words with a wry smile that conveyed happiness that we’d landed in such a great town whilst acknowledging some of the difficulties of relocating pulled it all together.
Life, work, brand, personal – it’s all your story – you get to shape it in a way that works for you
This story might be from life rather than work, but there are similarities. I was introducing myself, explaining who I was and why I was there, where I’d come from. I was looking to make connections, friends even, just as you might in a work or other setting. I was low on confidence and uncertain which way was up as you might be navigating a career change, or launching a business.
Working out what and how much to share was my challenge after a few tough years of big life change. I wanted to find a way to share enough so that I could make conversation, show a little of my personality but not so much that I’d scare people off or tie myself in knots.
It sounds cynical written down and really it wasn’t. Thinking ‘story’ helped me, it helped me to reframe redundancy and relocation in a positive light. There were a lot of big emotions lying beneath these anecdotes but these stories helped me to navigate all manner of conversations with confidence, even if that confidence was only surface level.
Ilkley is a friendly town, people are kind and curious, it’s a welcoming community and I had the bonus of having the novelty of being new. I didn’t have to twist anyone’s arm to get a conversation going but still, it was a complicated story for me to tell and turning it into a series of short stories made it so much easier.
Final thoughts
Your reasons for writing your story will be personal to you. This is just one example of where writing a slice of my story helped me to navigate a period of change in my life when I had to keep showing up – the school playground can be a tough gig to navigate – give an account of myself and try to connect with others.
A few storytelling pointers
Your reason for writing your story is personal. This is just one example of where writing a slice of my story helped me to navigate a period of change in my life when I had to keep showing up – the school playground can be a tough gig to navigate – give an account of myself and try to connect with others.
- Less is more, we’re not talking life stories here. Better to choose one anecdote and a couple of glimmers you can lean into and bring to life with a little description.
- Use your story to shape and steer the conversation, these soon to be familiar words will give you breathing space while your brain catches up with the other person and works out where the conversation might be heading.
- Be specific e.g I’d mention with a mock grimace how we’d have to get used to muddy dog walks after three years of shaking the sand off our yellow labrador outside the front door. I’d mention the drop in temperature and how I’d heard I’d need a big coat for the winter.
- These gave people openers, hooks to grab hold of that would help them find their way into the conversation.
Stories give you freedom and creative licence, they create sparks of recognition and connection with others. They’re not always easy to pull together which is why it can help to have a friend to hand to help you (that’s me!). It might be tempting to delegate this job to AI, but honestly, I don’t think ChatGPT can bring the same nuance, emotion and soul to these stories as a human can.
If you want help crafting your story – whatever your reason – please drop me a note. I’m always happy to chat: harriet@moorcommunication.co.uk